Zack's Peeping Adventures
by Amber Mushi
Summary: Zack has nothing to do for 1 full day. Won gives him the idea to peep on the women of Mineral Town. Magic happens.
1. A New Idea

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. **

**Zack's Peeping Adventures**

**Chapter 1 ****– A New Idea**

"What! No shipments?!"

Zack's infuriated voice was heard all throughout Mineral Town. The birds flew away, Carter stopped sniffing his mushrooms, Saibara hit his fingers with his hammer, the Harvest Sprites who were previously sleeping awakened with a jolt, and Jack, the farmer, almost fainted at the volume of Zack's voice.

"Yes, Zack, no shipments today," Jack answered tiredly.

"Why don't you get a chicken or something? They lay eggs that you can ship. I've been telling you this for the last week," Zack said while looking around at the farm. It was getting out of hand. Weeds were everywhere. The remains of last season's crops were lying around untouched. The harvest sprites who would normally be busy with work were idly sleeping on top of the water, of all places.

"No, really? I never knew that! Thanks for the info, dumbass," Jack said sarcastically.

Zack, sensing something was wrong with the poor farmer, asked, "What's wrong?"

Jack replied sadly, "I've been trying to get Karen in the sack for a week straight. No luck so far. She keeps telling me that size matters and I have no idea what she's talking about. I mean, I'm 5'10". That's average for men, right?"

"Uh…I'm not sure that's what she's talking about," Zack told the ignorant farmer.

"Anyways, I'll be trying again tomorrow, so don't bother coming. I won't have any shipments again. I don't plan on working again until I get to finally have my way with Karen," Jack said.

As images of Karen's naked body filled Zack's mind, he answered, "Huh? Oh, ok. Sure. That's some good stuff…"

"Is something wrong?" Jack asked. He had noticed that Zack's eyes were rolled upwards and he was drooling a little.

"Uh…no. I'll catch you later," Zack replied as he started heading out of the farm. Zack thought to himself, "Damn, another day with nothing to do. Well, at least he told me ahead of time today. I'll plan for something tomorrow. Maybe fishing.."

When Zack went home, he started to plan for his trip the next day. As he was looking for his fishing rod, Karen's naked body came into his mind again. He started feeling something tight in his pants and started drooling again. Won came through the door and noticed this strange phenomenon.

"What's up?" Won asked.

"Karen is so hot, man. I just want to see her naked at least once before I die," Zack replied.

Won got a look in his face and answered back, "Yeah, I know what you mean. First time I saw that girl, I knew. She was the one. I had to see her boobies. And I want to hold them. And squeeze them. And start licking them a little before she takes off her-"

"Stop talking, Won," Zack interrupted. "It's never going to happen and you know it. What's a bunch of old men like us going to do about it…"

"Never say never, my friend," Won told him. "I've come up with a foolproof way to finally see those beauties."

"Really? What's that?" Zack asked excitedly.

"Peep!" Won replied proudly with a grin on his face.

Zack's excitement went down. The feeling that he had had a moment ago was gone and now replaced by anger. He asked, "How the hell is that foolproof?! There are so many things that can go wrong. And what if I was caught? What would happen then? Do you have any idea how stupid your-"

"Ok, maybe I was wrong," Won replied sheepishly. "But it's the best idea I've got. You just need the determination to see the sights, and a lot of free time."

Zack thought to himself. Determination and free time. Luckily, he had both of those tomorrow. Coincidentally, he knew every secret passageway in Mineral Town there was, so he all of the ideal locations to look from. He said aloud, "You know what? I might just give that a try tomorrow."

Won looked surprised. "Really? I didn't think anybody was dumb enough to- I mean, I'm sure you'll do fine, Zack. Here, try to take pictures for me," he said as he handed Zack a camera from his pocket.

"Huh? Oh, sure," Zack replied absentmindedly as he took the camera. He got to thinking again. If he was going to actually go through with this, why just Karen? Why not other girls too? After all, he might never have any free time ever again. His mind was flooded with images of the different women of Mineral Town. Then he thought of that one woman he had set his eyes on ever since he first saw her. That lovely pink hair, her soft voice…

"Lillia."


	2. I Never Knew That Before!

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harvest Moon, you would be seeing waaay more naughty things in that game.  
**

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**Ch. 2 – "I Never Knew That Before!"**

Morning came. Zack woke up with only one thing on his mind: boobies.

He looked at his clock. It was 6:00 A.M. sharp. People should be getting up soon, he thought. And when people wake up, they get dressed. He had to be there exactly at that time they started undressing. He knew Lillia woke up early to feed the chickens and take care of the store. Without any further thought, he got dressed, grabbed five apples, and ran out the door.

"That's odd," he said to himself. Perhaps he had just been imagining it, but he thought he had noticed someone outside his window as he was getting dressed. Disturbed by this thought, he ran down the beach to the Poultry Farm.

Zack shivered with anticipation as he approached the Poultry Farm. He was about to see the woman of his dreams…and maybe a little more. He carefully positioned himself outside Lillia's window. Lillia slept in a different room for health reasons, but Zack knew she came into the room that he was standing outside of to dress. He checked his watch: 6:20. Lillia should be up by now.

Growing impatient, he took out one of his apples and took a bite. Then, at that moment, she walked in. He was so stunned he dropped his precious apple as he began to stare.

She slowly began taking off her shirt. Zack's eyes bulged out. He reached for another apple and fiercely took a bite out of it, munching on it as he stared. Time had never seemed to go by so slowly before. It was torture for him. He bit into his apple with another loud crunch. "Come on, go faster," he muttered.

Something pecked at his leg. Zack looked down and saw that one of the chickens had come near his leg.

"Shoo," Zack quietly said. The chicken did not go away. Zack looked back at Lillia. He did not have time for this chicken. He had better things to see. He felt the pecking again.

He tried his best to ignore it, knowing that if he made a sound, he was a dead man. The pecking grew in intensity. He could almost start to feel pain now. Who did this chicken think it was?

"Stupid chicken, go away," Finally growing tired of the seemingly endless pecking, he gave the chicken a kick. The chicken squawked and ran away.

Lillia looked up. Zack swore and ducked out of the way. He had a strong feeling that she had seen him, or the figure of somebody. He hoped and prayed that she had not recognized him. Suddenly the door of the Poultry Farm flew open with a loud crash.

"All right, who the hell's there?!"

Zack looked towards the direction the voice came from. There stood Lillia, fully clothed…with a shotgun. And she looked mad as hell.

Speechless, Zack tried to think. His mind was blank.

"Popuri! Rick! Get out here!" Lillia yelled. On cue, her children came out of the door, each equipped with their own firearms. Popuri had a revolver in each hand. Rick held a small pistol.

Zack slowly tried to creep away. But he did not go unnoticed.

"Hey you! Who do you think you are, you peeping Tom?" Lillia asked.

Zack started running. Confronting a mad woman with a shotgun was not on his list of things to do that day. He heard a shot go off and quickly checked to make sure he was still alive then continued to run. What had happened to his angel? Her pink hair didn't look so good anymore, and her soft voice was definitely not soft right now.

He quickly looked back and noticed that Lillia had not been running after him. Then he noticed something more frightening: the kids were not next to their mother.

"Oh damn, what the hell do I do now?" he asked himself. Two figures were now approaching him from each side. Popuri was on the left, Rick on the right. Amazingly, they didn't look like they recognized Zack.

Popuri shot first. The sound of shots going off made Zack run for his life once again. He managed to lose her. There was still Rick to take care of, but Zack was growing tired. He looked around at the ground and noticed countless bullets. He stopped for awhile, and instantly regretted it when he saw Rick shoot.

"I got him, Mom!" Rick yelled. He skipped back to his house leaving Zack alone.

Zack fell to the ground, feeling something wet on his chest. Something was terribly wrong. He looked down, expecting to see blood.

"What the…?" Zack stared in disbelief at his own chest. Something didn't make sense. He touched his chest and only felt water. He groaned.

"Stupid Rick and his water pistol scaring me like that. Why the hell did he have a water gun anyways when his mom and sister had actual guns? Stupid boy," he grumbled as he walked away from the farm.

"That was completely stupid," Zack said to himself. "I didn't get to see any boobs, I lost my apple, and I spent five minutes running for my life. Let's check out Karen's house now." With that, he set out on the road to Karen's.

An hour later, Zack arrived at Karen's house looking through the kitchen. Karen was not there, but Sasha, Karen's mom was along with Anna, Mary's mom.

"Jeff is so frustrating to work with," Sasha was saying to Anna. "He can't last long enough and sometimes I don't even feel it."

"Oh yeah? Basil won't even do it with me unless I let him bring some kind of plant with him while we're doing it. Last night I caught him rubbing that mushroom we found last night on his balls," Anna replied.

Zack's ears perked up. He had never heard of this before. Even though Karen was not here, things were turning out very interesting. He planned to stay for a little longer to listen to this conversation and then go off in search for Karen. He got out another apple and began eating it. A few minutes later, Sasha and Anna were getting ready to cook something together and their conversation turned to cooking.

Zack got up to leave, thinking that this conversation could not get any more interesting when he suddenly heard Sasha say, "So you just want to do each other then?"

Zack stopped himself as he was walking away and raced back to the window. His face started to heat up and he started getting excited again. He took another bite out of his apple and started watching again.

Sasha and Anna grew closer to one another and after what seemed like an eternity to Zack, their lips finally met. The kissing grew fiercer as they groped each other's breasts and started to take each other's clothes off.

Zack was filled with ecstasy. This was better than anything he had expected. He bit into his apple and watched the two housewives go after each other with lust.

"Say, why don't we move this to the bedroom? I got a few things I want to show you," Sasha said seductively.

Zack froze in mid-bite. "What? No! Stay here. It's sexier in the kitchen!" he said out loud. The glorious sight before him was about to go away behind closed doors, never to be seen again. He hoped Anna would ask to stay in the kitchen for whatever reason so that he could continue watching. "Come on, please stay in the kitchen," he whispered to himself.

"Oh, I'd be happy to," Anna replied as Zack's heart sank.

Giggling like schoolgirls, the two women ceased undressing and walked together out the door leaving a sad Zack outside.

Zack was stupefied. His plan was not going well at all. He had been on the verge of seeing a little something two times only to be foiled both times by cruel fate. As he sat with his half-eaten apple, he wondered if he would ever get to see somebody's boobs before he died. He looked up at the sky and screamed in frustration.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

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**A/N:** Yeah, I have no idea where this is going now. R&R plz.


	3. Don't Get Caught!

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon.**

**Ch. 3 – Don't Get Caught!**

Zack was once again on the road to sneak a peek at the ladies. Walking near Yodel Ranch, he ran into May.

"Hi, Mr. Zack! What are you doing today?" May asked.

"Hello, May. Truth is I've actually been peep-…" Zack left his sentence unfinished praying that he had not accidentally corrupted the young girl with his words.

"Peep? What's that?" May asked.

"Uh…well…" Zack left his sentence unfinished once again as he looked at May.

"Hmm…" he said out loud. He seemed to be in deep thought looking at the young girl. He then quickly shook his head and said to himself, "What am I thinking?! Even I'm not that sick."

He took one last look at May and told her, "Come see me in about ten years or so." With that, he continued walking down the street leaving a very confused looking May behind.

The last event involving Sasha and Anna had left him discouraged and he was about to give up. To decide on what to do next, he visited the Hot Spring hoping it would help him relax.

When he arrived there, he took his clothes off and got in the water. He heard a rustle in the forest. Once again, he felt that somebody had been watching him. "Ah, probably just a wild animal or something," he told himself.

As soon as he got into the water, he felt great. The relaxing sensation that came over him gave him the feeling that he could do anything. More specifically, get away with anything. He reached for another apple near him and bit into it slowly while thinking…naughty thoughts. His fantasizing was cut short, however, by the entrance of Mineral Town's local hot chick. Zack quickly looked over the wood that covered the hot spring and his eyes found Karen.

"What's she doing here?" he thought. He quickly checked his watch and realized it was 1 o'clock on a Tuesday. He also realized he had been looking for Karen in the wrong places. Karen had been coming to this spot at this time every Tuesday without fail, but nobody knew why. Little did Zack know, he was about to find out.

"Come on, hurry up, Doug!" Karen said. Zack looked puzzled as he saw nobody with her. Then he saw a tired-looking Doug come into the picture.

"I'm getting too old for this Karen," Doug said. "I get tired from just walking here."

"Ah, come on baby. You're never too old to go skinny dipping!" Karen told the worn out Doug. Zack's eyes widened at this. This is what Karen had been doing all this time? With Doug? But wait, this meant that he would be able to see Karen in her natural form this way. He'd probably have to see Doug naked too, but he would gladly endure that if it meant being able to see Karen.

"Come on, come on, get in!" Zack's thoughts were interrupted as Karen spoke.

Zack looked at Karen and to his disappointment, she was already in the water. He had missed it all!

"All right, I'm getting in." Doug said.

While Zack did not get to see Karen, he did catch a glimpse of Doug's…genitals. He quickly tried to get the sight out of his mind, but it was too late. Zack got so mad he chucked his half-eaten apple at a tree, which made Karen and Doug look at the apple on the ground. Doug quickly got out to look at the apple and Zack was treated to another full frontal view of Doug's body.

"Somebody's here," Doug said darkly. Zack quickly ducked where he could not be seen, hoping for what seemed like the millionth time that day, that he would not get caught.

"Come on, we better take this to the sheriff," Doug said as he grabbed the apple. "Get dressed." And within seconds, before Zack could even dream of seeing, they were out of the forest.

"Damn it, there goes another golden opportunity. I doubt Karen will be continuing on with her 'activities' again. Man, why am I so unlucky?" Zack asked himself. With that, he sat against the wall and drifted off.

He looked up. Something was telling him to look at the Goddess's Pond. An inner feeling within him told him that he would see something unbelievable if he were to look there now. He looked. He could not believe his eyes.

It was the Goddess. And for some strange reason, she was not wearing any clothes. It appeared she was bathing and had her back towards Zack. He slowly reached for another apple and quickly devoured it.

"Come on, turn around. Yes, yes. No, the other way!" Zack was watching intently hoping that the Goddess would fully turn around and grant him a view of her front.

"Who's there?" the Goddess asked. Zack didn't dare answer back.

"Zack, is that you?"

Zack remained silent. The Goddess came over to the spot where Zack was, covering her breasts with her arms.

"Well, young man. If you wanted a peek, you should've just told me so. I would have gladly let you take a look at these," the Goddess said while looking down at him.

"Are you serious?" Zack asked.

"Of course," she answered. "Nothing wrong with a healthy young man trying to get a glimpse of the most beautiful sets of breasts in the world."

Zack's mouth remained open and his eyes were intensely focused on the Goddess's hands which were now only slightly covering her breasts.

"Well, do you want to see them or not?" the Goddess asked impatiently.

"Well..I mean- yeah, of course I do!" Zack stuttered.

"Well, here goes," she said while slowly taking her hands off her…melons. Time seemed to go in slow motion to the fifth power for Zack. It was getting close. His journey had paid off. He was about to see the glorious-

"Hey, wake up dumbass."

Zack woke up. He was furious. Even in his dreams he was not allowed to take in the sights. He was foiled again and again. Why was this happening to him? He was just an innocent delivery man.

Won's face wore a look of amusement. "Having fun dreams again…in the hot spring…naked?" he asked.

"You just woke me up from the best damn dream I've had in a while, you bastard. You better have a good reason. That was the closest I got to seeing something all day." Zack angrily answered back.

"Did you leave behind half-eaten apples everywhere?" Won asked.

"Hmm…did I? I had to have my apples, man. Can't do business without apples," Zack said.

"Yeah, well people found out about the apples, assumed they have a Peeping Tom and now Harris is searching for the one behind it. And last time I checked, that was you," Won told him.

Zack's face turned white. "Oh, damn. What's gonna happen now? What happens if I get caught? My reputation will be ruined!" he said in panic. "You've got to help me man. You're my friend, right? Tell me what to do!"

"Well, first thing you can do is get your ass out of the hot spring and put some damn clothes on," Won said. "Next, try to blend in with the crowd. They're searching for the guy right now. Try to pretend like you don't know anything about it and you're searching for the guy too."

"Thanks, man. What would I do without you?" Zack got up and waked towards Won.

"Woah, enough with the penis man. We're not gay." Won said while covering his eyes.

"Right, right. I'm going to take off now. Catch you later," Zack told his friend.

"Just don't get caught," Won told Zack as he ran out holding his genitals.

**A/N: Next chapter will probably be the last one.**


	4. My Happy Ending

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Ch. 4 – My Happy Ending**

Zack headed for Rose Plaza. When he arrived there, he noticed a huge crowd standing before Harris, the local sheriff. He quickly ran to the crowd and tried to blend in as Won told him to.

He noticed Popuri and said to her, "Hey, what's going on?"

She answered, "Somebody's been leaving half-eaten apples all over the place. Karen said she found one outside when she was changing or something. Everyone thinks there's now a Peeping Tom in town."

"Did you notice anything?" Zack nervously asked her, hoping that she did not recognize him from the morning incident with Lillia.

"Nope, I was just taking care of the chickens the whole day," Popuri replied. She obviously did not remember anything and Zack was instantly relieved.

"People of Mineral Town! Listen!" Harris was yelling, "We have decided to hand over the apples to the Doctor for investigation. Meanwhile, please think of possible suspects who like apples." At this, the townspeople all began to think of their neighbors who liked apples and began shouting out names.

"Won!"

"Zack!"

"Gotz!"

"The Doctor!"

"Ellen!"

Harris wrote down the names being called and addressed the matter. "Well, I think we can rule out Ellen seeing how she's confined to her chair. That leaves four suspects left. How are we going to see if it's one of these four?"

"Let's compare their teeth to the bite marks on the apples!" Rick shouted. The town was stunned.

"This might be the first time Rick's said anything bordering on intelligent," Kai said.

"Aww thanks, bro!" Rick said smiling as he went to hug Kai.

"Don't touch me, you fool," Kai snapped.

"Anyways, that's a good idea, I'll get the Doctor to do it. Bring the suspects forward!" Harris yelled.

"This is it," Zack thought. "I'm gonna be exposed as a pervert to the whole town. My reputation will be ruined. Women will avoid me forever! My life is over!" He went to the Doctor's area with Gotz and Won.

"Look at them," Zack thought. "So calm, meanwhile I'm shaking and about to crap myself." Zack took a deep breath. "All right, calm down," he told himself. "It's gonna make you look more suspicious."

The Doctor checked their teeth and said, "You can all go now." All three men began to walk out when the Doctor said, "Zack, stay behind." The other two men exited as Won mouthed 'Good luck' to Zack.

"Oh crap," Zack thought. "It's over!"

The Doctor looked at him sternly and told him, "I can't say I approve of this, Zack. Peeping is not to be tolerated at this town. We want to keep it clean of any dirty activities, right?"

"Right, right…Please don't expose me, Doc. I'll do anything. My reputation will be ruined. I might never get a woman to come near me!" Zack pleaded.

"Don't worry," the Doctor said. "As soon as I found out that it was you, I knew I couldn't let that happen. You've helped me a lot these past years."

"Thanks, Doc," said a relieved Zack. "So what are you gonna tell them, now?"

"Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it," the Doctor replied. "Now, get out."

"Thanks again, Doc."

"Don't mention it," the Doctor replied.

A much relieved Zack came out and waited for the Doctor's verdict along with the whole town. The Doctor came out and prepared to make the announcement.

"Citizens of Mineral Town, I have reached the conclusion that the Peeping Tom of Mineral Town is none other than….me." The crowd, including Zack and Won gasped.

Harris looked speechless. Then the whole town reacted at once.

The men gave a cheer and started yelling for a party. They rushed off to grab their stocks of wine and prepared to drink until they could not drink anymore.

All the women and girls were on the Doctor at once. But, to Zack's disbelief, they were not beating him up, castrating him, or doing anything painful. As a matter of fact, they were…kissing him?

"Oh, Doctor" moaned Sasha. "If you wanted to see me, why didn't you just tell me? I'll gladly give you my body."

"Yes, Doctor," Lillia crooned as Karen and Anna began removing his coat.

Zack could not believe his eyes. Here, he thought the culprit would be getting his ass kicked, but instead the Doctor seemed to have all the women swarming over him! The Doctor looked equally surprised but seemed to be enjoying it like the pervert he secretly was.

Even girls who were not 'victims' were getting in on the action. Ann and Popuri were shoving the crowd to get to the Doctor and once there, they started showering him with kisses. Meanwhile, Won had slipped near Zack and was observing the scene with fascination.

"Man, look at that! I never knew the girls in this town were so feisty! Oh, look now. She just grabbed his-"

"Shut up!" roared Zack. "Oh, why couldn't that be me," groaned Zack as he looked at the scene with envy.

All the women giggling were leading the Doctor off elsewhere.

"Come on, you naughty boy."

"We're gonna show you a good time."

"I hope you're as big as they say you are."

The teasing of the women reached Zack's ears and he fell to the ground with longing.

"NOOOOOOOO!!" he yelled in frustration.

Just when he felt like he missed out on the biggest event of his life, another person came up to Zack. It was Thomas, the mayor. Zack realized now that the Mayor had not been present since the announcement.

"Zack, I'd like to say something," Thomas started. "I've been following you around this whole day trying to see you naked because I love you!"

Zack and Won's mouths dropped simultaneously. Zack seemed to stare at the mayor with disgust and Won looked at him with a mixture of bewilderment and interest.

"Well, aren't you going to kiss me and take me to a place where we can get it down?" Thomas asked impatiently.

This statement seemed to drop Zack out of his shock and he shouted, "What?! NO!" Are you sick?! What's wrong with you?!"

The mayor shrugged and said, "Oh well, time to go peek on other people. See ya later, baby! Let me know if you change your mind." He skipped off hoping to get better looks at some of the men getting drunk.

Zack was banging his head on the ground saying, "Why me? Why me? Why me?"

Won just smiled like the sick bastard he was.

**A/N: It's over now. Hope at least one person liked it. Review plz.**


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